Well done Daniel!
You used fantastic clauses!
I love your sentence openers and speech punctuation and furthermore I liked how you used “WITHOUT WARNING” and the one that says “VANISHED IN THIN AIR”.
WISH:You could have described more when the pancake got stuck up on the ceiling!
I am looking forward to reading more of your 100 word challenges.
Why not visit our blog on http://year5w.bykerblogs.net/!
14vanessa(pupil at BPS),Byker Primary School,Newcastle,England!
Daniel,
Well, there is certainly nothing better for dinner than pancakes–my favorite! I like that opening sentence using the exclamation–it certainly is an attention-getter. You also have very good sentence variety. Tip: Use upper case for beginning sentences within speech quotes. Fine job on this 100WC–keep it up! (English Teacher, Ocean City, NJ, USA)
Well done Daniel!
You used fantastic clauses!
I love your sentence openers and speech punctuation and furthermore I liked how you used “WITHOUT WARNING” and the one that says “VANISHED IN THIN AIR”.
WISH:You could have described more when the pancake got stuck up on the ceiling!
I am looking forward to reading more of your 100 word challenges.
Why not visit our blog on http://year5w.bykerblogs.net/!
14vanessa(pupil at BPS),Byker Primary School,Newcastle,England!
We really like this 100 word chalenge story although you could have a couple more words by seperating compound words into 2.
Daniel,
Well, there is certainly nothing better for dinner than pancakes–my favorite! I like that opening sentence using the exclamation–it certainly is an attention-getter. You also have very good sentence variety. Tip: Use upper case for beginning sentences within speech quotes. Fine job on this 100WC–keep it up! (English Teacher, Ocean City, NJ, USA)