Dear Milla. I loved reading your post. I like how you have been specific about the type of tree you let the bird go at. You have also used many adjectives in your writing which I like. Maybe next time you could use plumage instead of tummy.
From your friend at High Lawn,
Reece (http://6d2012.highlawnprimary.net/)
Dear Millie, what a great 100wc you have done this week… I love the way that you have used short sentences for effects, I also like how you have described the bird instead of saying ‘the bird’ However, you have used lots of commas, maybe you could slide in a semi colon ( it looks like this ; ) A semi colon means more than a comma but less that a full stop, so maybe you could use a semi colon on your next 100wc, good luck 🙂
From your friend Annalese at High Lawn http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Hello Milla
I really liked the way you have slipped a description into a story in this piece of writing and you have added that the tree was oak. Your punctuation is the wrong way round (me ,eventually =me, eventually). Harrison at 6d2012.highlawnprimary.net.
Dear Milla,
What a great 100wc. You have used a lot of beautiful words to describe the bird and the setting. Out of all the description, I like how you have put ‘…perfect light blue…’ . I also like how you have used ‘It was an early spring morning.’ because it gives me the image of birds hatching. Why did you use spring out of all the seasons?Maybe next time, you could use some adverb of manner operners.
From Caitlin. http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Dear Caitlin
Thank you for your comment.Just to answer your question-“Why did you use spring out of all of the seasons?”The answer is -During spring there are lots of blue birds flying around.
Thank you very much for your comment on the blog.
From Milla
Hello Milla,
I enjoyed reading your 100wc because you used really clear descriptions. I could picture the bird in my mind. Well done. Don’t forget that you can use pronouns (he/she/it) to save repeating ‘the bird’ . That would have given you a few more words to add in more about your feelings.
Well done. Keep up the great writing 🙂
Dear Milla. I loved reading your post. I like how you have been specific about the type of tree you let the bird go at. You have also used many adjectives in your writing which I like. Maybe next time you could use plumage instead of tummy.
From your friend at High Lawn,
Reece (http://6d2012.highlawnprimary.net/)
Thank you I will definetly use this in my writing.
From Milla
Dear Millie, what a great 100wc you have done this week… I love the way that you have used short sentences for effects, I also like how you have described the bird instead of saying ‘the bird’ However, you have used lots of commas, maybe you could slide in a semi colon ( it looks like this ; ) A semi colon means more than a comma but less that a full stop, so maybe you could use a semi colon on your next 100wc, good luck 🙂
From your friend Annalese at High Lawn
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Thank you very much I do not usally use semi colon but I probably will in the 100wc this week
From Milla
Hello Milla
I really liked the way you have slipped a description into a story in this piece of writing and you have added that the tree was oak. Your punctuation is the wrong way round (me ,eventually =me, eventually). Harrison at 6d2012.highlawnprimary.net.
Hi Harrison
thanks for your comment I will definetly go through my punctuation more.
Milla
Dear Milla,
What a great 100wc. You have used a lot of beautiful words to describe the bird and the setting. Out of all the description, I like how you have put ‘…perfect light blue…’ . I also like how you have used ‘It was an early spring morning.’ because it gives me the image of birds hatching. Why did you use spring out of all the seasons?Maybe next time, you could use some adverb of manner operners.
From Caitlin. http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Dear Caitlin
Thank you for your comment.Just to answer your question-“Why did you use spring out of all of the seasons?”The answer is -During spring there are lots of blue birds flying around.
Thank you very much for your comment on the blog.
From Milla
Hello Milla,
I enjoyed reading your 100wc because you used really clear descriptions. I could picture the bird in my mind. Well done. Don’t forget that you can use pronouns (he/she/it) to save repeating ‘the bird’ . That would have given you a few more words to add in more about your feelings.
Well done. Keep up the great writing 🙂
Thank you I will definitely use some more pronouns in my 100wc this week. 🙂
Hi Milla
Wow! Great blog, it’s really descriptive and I loved reading it
From Maddie M
Thanks for reading I’m glad you enjoyed it!:)
From Milla