Hi Dilan,
I really like your work because you have written a very creative peice of writing.
I wonder why the sun was so bright?
Well done, you have used lots of description.
When you said “…the light was bright I couldn’t…” do you mean “…the light was so bright I couldn’t…”?
Keep up the good work,
From Rosie.
Thank you Dilan for your entry. I could really relate to your story (being outside with an ice cream!) what a lovely summery feel to your story. You have left your reader in complete mystery about the sun, which isn’t a bad thing, but perhaps you could consider giving us a clue that leaves us in suspense…
Hi Dilan,
I really like your work because you have written a very creative peice of writing.
I wonder why the sun was so bright?
Well done, you have used lots of description.
When you said “…the light was bright I couldn’t…” do you mean “…the light was so bright I couldn’t…”?
Keep up the good work,
From Rosie.
Thank you Dilan for your entry. I could really relate to your story (being outside with an ice cream!) what a lovely summery feel to your story. You have left your reader in complete mystery about the sun, which isn’t a bad thing, but perhaps you could consider giving us a clue that leaves us in suspense…