Hi Maddie,
I think you have done a great peice of work because you fitted the 100wc words in well with the rest of your writing.
Remember that in the last sentance to should be too.
Well done,
From Rosie.
I really like your story and I really wanted to know what happens next like if they are going to find their way
out. So maybe you can blog what happens next?
Dilan
Hi Maddie,
I think your writing is really interesting, and espically when the character got lost.However,you could use more subordinators like although and since.
Maybe you could visit our blog hawks.creativeblogs.net
We liked your cliff hanger, it made us want to read a WHOLE story by you. We used your work to practice different openers. Thanks for the inspiration. Keep writing!
Wow that was realy good i liked the way you left it at a cliff hanger it will make people want to read on more so you should write some more work then people will start to read your post’s more. please can you visit Highlawnpraimary.net
dear maddie this was my favorut part On m y way I took a wrong turn and so I got lost. And my friends got lost to so in the end we were all lost together.well done you used comas.But you could of done a three action sentence, such as
‘One day I was in the park, having fun and a picnic with my friends’
Hi Maddie,
I think you have done a great peice of work because you fitted the 100wc words in well with the rest of your writing.
Remember that in the last sentance to should be too.
Well done,
From Rosie.
Hi Maddie
I really like your story and I really wanted to know what happens next like if they are going to find their way
out. So maybe you can blog what happens next?
Dilan
Hi Maddie,
I think your writing is really interesting, and espically when the character got lost.However,you could use more subordinators like although and since.
Maybe you could visit our blog hawks.creativeblogs.net
We liked your cliff hanger, it made us want to read a WHOLE story by you. We used your work to practice different openers. Thanks for the inspiration. Keep writing!
Wow that was realy good i liked the way you left it at a cliff hanger it will make people want to read on more so you should write some more work then people will start to read your post’s more. please can you visit Highlawnpraimary.net
dear maddie this was my favorut part On m y way I took a wrong turn and so I got lost. And my friends got lost to so in the end we were all lost together.well done you used comas.But you could of done a three action sentence, such as
‘One day I was in the park, having fun and a picnic with my friends’
Keep writing
Jamie
http://www.5t2012@highlawnprimary.net