Well done, Alice – what a lovely story you have written. I really enjoyed reading it. I think it’s great that you have included speech in your tale, bacause that really makes it come to life. I also like the way you have managed to convey the feeling of excitement that your heroine was feeling, so the whole story really builds up to the punch line at the end. You have also used some very good descriptions: smooth as silk, giant house, red as rubies. These help to create a very vivid picture in the reader’s mind. I hope you will carry on writing for the challenge!
I agree with everything Lorely says. I particularly liked your opening. As soon as I started reading it I could feel the tingle going down my spine. I also felt the disappointment at the end. I also hope you will continue writing for the 100WC.
A fantastic 100WC Alice….I really like the way you build up anticipation and have created an abrupt ending.
You’ve used some really creative adjectives and it makes the story really interesting. It sounds like a wonderful present.
Well Done!
Well done, Alice – what a lovely story you have written. I really enjoyed reading it. I think it’s great that you have included speech in your tale, bacause that really makes it come to life. I also like the way you have managed to convey the feeling of excitement that your heroine was feeling, so the whole story really builds up to the punch line at the end. You have also used some very good descriptions: smooth as silk, giant house, red as rubies. These help to create a very vivid picture in the reader’s mind. I hope you will carry on writing for the challenge!
I agree with everything Lorely says. I particularly liked your opening. As soon as I started reading it I could feel the tingle going down my spine. I also felt the disappointment at the end. I also hope you will continue writing for the 100WC.