Thank you for publishing such a good continuation to the story! You did a great job keeping your readers in suspense and a little fearful. Additionally, you wrote in a fashion that is easy to adapt to a graphic novel with lots of dialogue.
I have a teeny, tiny observation on punctuation. You need need a comma after “Montgomery” in the second line as you are using an appositive. That said, you did a a terrific job with good spelling and punctuation.
I’m soooooo curious about the wonderful machine. Keep up the good work!
Tracey Ananmalay
Team 100WC
San José, California, USA
Wow, Hector I really like your piece. I am nearly shaking, that was so daunting. I like your description and how you put lots of good words instead of just said. I also like the idea about the machine and Dr Montgomery.
What a great story! You have written in a really classic style – the unexpected villain – the goodies being trapped and duped! I really enjoyed it.
I agree that your spelling and punctuation are good – I also like that way that you chose an imaginative name for your baddie! (A little bit Sherlock – are you a fan?)
Hector,
This is a wonder full piece of work. I liked Doctor Montgomery (what kind of name is that?) and how you did not use said. I I I I like that you made the characters stammer it makes them seem really scared. WELL DONE
Hello Hector,
Thank you for publishing such a good continuation to the story! You did a great job keeping your readers in suspense and a little fearful. Additionally, you wrote in a fashion that is easy to adapt to a graphic novel with lots of dialogue.
I have a teeny, tiny observation on punctuation. You need need a comma after “Montgomery” in the second line as you are using an appositive. That said, you did a a terrific job with good spelling and punctuation.
I’m soooooo curious about the wonderful machine. Keep up the good work!
Tracey Ananmalay
Team 100WC
San José, California, USA
Wow, Hector I really like your piece. I am nearly shaking, that was so daunting. I like your description and how you put lots of good words instead of just said. I also like the idea about the machine and Dr Montgomery.
Great work! From Ethan
Hi there, Hector,
What a great story! You have written in a really classic style – the unexpected villain – the goodies being trapped and duped! I really enjoyed it.
I agree that your spelling and punctuation are good – I also like that way that you chose an imaginative name for your baddie! (A little bit Sherlock – are you a fan?)
Well done, keep up the good work 🙂
Mrs Radd (Team100WC) Northamptonshire, England.
Hector,
This is a wonder full piece of work. I liked Doctor Montgomery (what kind of name is that?) and how you did not use said. I I I I like that you made the characters stammer it makes them seem really scared. WELL DONE