Well done Bryn! I love the descriptive language that you have used in this piece of writing. I particularly like the part where you use the expression ‘a light shone, a sign of hope.’ I also like the part where you demonstrated that you were able to use a simile, ‘his heart was racing like a race car.’ However, to improve I think you could check your work for punctuation errors.
*I really think you have used amazing adjectives like: oozing,ferocious,smashing and pounding.
*I really like your similes.
WISH: you should check your spelling.
Well done Bryn! I love the descriptive language that you have used in this piece of writing. I particularly like the part where you use the expression ‘a light shone, a sign of hope.’ I also like the part where you demonstrated that you were able to use a simile, ‘his heart was racing like a race car.’ However, to improve I think you could check your work for punctuation errors.
Hi Bryn. I love your story. The descriptive language is so good. Can’t wait to see what happens next. You could improve your capital letters.
Awsome Bryn good description.
*I really think you have used amazing adjectives like: oozing,ferocious,smashing and pounding.
*I really like your similes.
WISH: you should check your spelling.