Hi Neve
I like it how you wrote ‘The moon light shone’. I also like it how you wrote ‘there was a BANG!!!’. Can you please check your spelling apart from that really good piece of work.
This was a very effective piece, Neve. I liked the way to made the atmosphere very creepy, I wouldn’t like to meet those toys! Now, when I reached the end, I was a bit disappointed that everything just stopped. Have you thought about making the reader wonder what will happen next? Or you could have an event that shows why the toys came alive.
The main point is I really enjoyed your writing. Well done and thank you for sharing this lovely imaginative piece. Well done.
Mr Leatherdale (Team 100)
Hi Neve
I like it how you wrote ‘The moon light shone’. I also like it how you wrote ‘there was a BANG!!!’. Can you please check your spelling apart from that really good piece of work.
This was a very effective piece, Neve. I liked the way to made the atmosphere very creepy, I wouldn’t like to meet those toys! Now, when I reached the end, I was a bit disappointed that everything just stopped. Have you thought about making the reader wonder what will happen next? Or you could have an event that shows why the toys came alive.
The main point is I really enjoyed your writing. Well done and thank you for sharing this lovely imaginative piece. Well done.
Mr Leatherdale (Team 100)