Hi Scarlet,
Very good descriptive writing I really liked the adjectives you put into your writing.
You also used some of the six senses.
But you forgot some basic punctuation like a capital letter.
Well done!
Your piece of writing is amazing!
I loved listening to it.
You made a great ending where you said: ‘ It was tempting to walk on the
bridge, so I started to walk on the bridge, it sounded creaky and I didn’t know were it
would lead to.’
You should check if you have missed a letter out, so you should try and
check if it makes sense.
Wow Scarlet!
Your piece of writing is fabulous, and contains many brilliant descriptions such as ” The snow was a white as pages of a book, and as cold as iceicals on my nose.
Your first sentience was also good because it really draws the reader in!
Perhaps you could use exiting sentience starters, because you accidentally used I at the beginning of a sentence quite often.
But very well done anyway!
Hi Scarlet,
Very good descriptive writing I really liked the adjectives you put into your writing.
You also used some of the six senses.
But you forgot some basic punctuation like a capital letter.
Well done!
Your piece of writing is amazing!
I loved listening to it.
You made a great ending where you said: ‘ It was tempting to walk on the
bridge, so I started to walk on the bridge, it sounded creaky and I didn’t know were it
would lead to.’
You should check if you have missed a letter out, so you should try and
check if it makes sense.
Wow Scarlet!
Your piece of writing is fabulous, and contains many brilliant descriptions such as ” The snow was a white as pages of a book, and as cold as iceicals on my nose.
Your first sentience was also good because it really draws the reader in!
Perhaps you could use exiting sentience starters, because you accidentally used I at the beginning of a sentence quite often.
But very well done anyway!