Hello Liam,
I really liked…
1. How realistic it was.
2. The description of the man.
Always remember to…
1. Use a capital letter at the beginning of a new sentence.
2. Use a capital letter for the word ‘I’.
3. Start a new line when someone new is speaking.
4. Use better words for sad. Such as: melancholy or forlorn.
Apart from that everything was fine so remember to keep on blogging.
Hello Liam. I thought you set the scene very well in this story, with Jude lost on the underground, and I liked your use of the word ‘regret’. Next time remember to read you story again to make sure you don’t suddenly put yourself into the story part way through as in this one you started with Jude and finished with I. You have a great imagination though so keep writing!
Liam
I think it was a interesting peace with a great storyline but maybe next time check there were a few capital letters missing.
Hello Liam,
I really liked…
1. How realistic it was.
2. The description of the man.
Always remember to…
1. Use a capital letter at the beginning of a new sentence.
2. Use a capital letter for the word ‘I’.
3. Start a new line when someone new is speaking.
4. Use better words for sad. Such as: melancholy or forlorn.
Apart from that everything was fine so remember to keep on blogging.
Hello Liam. I thought you set the scene very well in this story, with Jude lost on the underground, and I liked your use of the word ‘regret’. Next time remember to read you story again to make sure you don’t suddenly put yourself into the story part way through as in this one you started with Jude and finished with I. You have a great imagination though so keep writing!
Thank you and I do need read my story
After I have written it .
I think my story is very realistic and the description
was very good
I like it how you told the man to take you home and then you were there.
bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc
Thank you!