I think it is really good but it doesn’t have to have so much in speech marks. It is quite hard to understand because you didn’t say who was telling what. And you need a peice of punchuation before the speech mark. If it finishes a sentence put a full stop. But otherwise it was good.
Hi George, your 100WC entry has something slightly nightmarish and surreal about it, but what mkes it effective is that this kind of situation could so easily happen! You’re missing one or two bits of punctuation, how about reading through to make sure every sentence ends correctly?
I think it is really good but it doesn’t have to have so much in speech marks. It is quite hard to understand because you didn’t say who was telling what. And you need a peice of punchuation before the speech mark. If it finishes a sentence put a full stop. But otherwise it was good.
Hi George, your 100WC entry has something slightly nightmarish and surreal about it, but what mkes it effective is that this kind of situation could so easily happen! You’re missing one or two bits of punctuation, how about reading through to make sure every sentence ends correctly?