There were definatly some great things and some things in your blog and some things that could be improved- i’ve listed as many as I can here…
Good points:
1. I liked the way it was so imaginative
2.I love Sushi so I do like the name of the bunny
Improvements:
1. You should’ve used A capital after all the exclamation marks
2. There were a few things that didn’t make sense in the story
Overall though, I really liked the story as a whole so keep it up!
Well done Armelle!
Your story was great however to make it even better I think you should check your spelling But apart from that it was great.
From Sophie
A great sad story but you missed out a few words such as Playing,She and Burie but try not to repeat the same words but outher than that you did reallyt well.
That was a great peice of work Armelle. I could really imagine it in my head. And I was laughing the whole was through. I also loved your imagination and how I thought that the chocolate bunny was a real one.
Well done!
Hi Armelle, a great 100WC post! I really liked that you shock to reader with the revelation of the rabbit being made of chocolate. Your writing is very imaginative and interesting for the reader, and I also loved the rabbit’s name, Sushi! Keep up the good work.
There were definatly some great things and some things in your blog and some things that could be improved- i’ve listed as many as I can here…
Good points:
1. I liked the way it was so imaginative
2.I love Sushi so I do like the name of the bunny
Improvements:
1. You should’ve used A capital after all the exclamation marks
2. There were a few things that didn’t make sense in the story
Overall though, I really liked the story as a whole so keep it up!
Well done Armelle!
Your story was great however to make it even better I think you should check your spelling But apart from that it was great.
From Sophie
A great sad story but you missed out a few words such as Playing,She and Burie but try not to repeat the same words but outher than that you did reallyt well.
Good work Armelle ! mabey cheack your spellings but anyway good work
Well done Armelle!
What an impressive piece of work! I could sense the real feelings on it.
Please do keep up with your fantastic work.
That was a great peice of work Armelle. I could really imagine it in my head. And I was laughing the whole was through. I also loved your imagination and how I thought that the chocolate bunny was a real one.
Well done!
Hi Armelle, a great 100WC post! I really liked that you shock to reader with the revelation of the rabbit being made of chocolate. Your writing is very imaginative and interesting for the reader, and I also loved the rabbit’s name, Sushi! Keep up the good work.