Hi Jake,
This is an incredibal blog I loved your description especially the description of when you stabbed the dragon.
The only bad thing is that you didn’t use the correct prompt.
Raphael.
Wow, I have no words. You used great connectives (flabbergasted). Fantastic ly words and much more. But the only thing you could do a bit more of, is to use more of a range of adverbs and adjectives, insted of using I, It and The. To use other great wow words and you could get a level 5 or 4, by using more brilliant words you could be making your writing better. Any way your writing was just amazing and I want to say that because it’s that good I will try to come back and comment more on your work and your teacher will be really proud of you. Keep it up.
From Annalise (HIGH LAWN 6D) http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
What a captivating story, I was holding my breath throughout wanting to know what was going to happen next. You’ve used some powerful vocabulary to describe the dragon. I would encourage you to keep in mind the writing prompt so that you can ensure it’s exactly the same.
Wow your 100 word challenge is great. Remember to use the prompt but it is brilliant. I like your description that you used in your 100 word challenge. Keep it up and I hope you do another 100 wc keep it up and i hope to read it again I thought it was great.Keep up the hard work Jake
I will try and find your name next week. Keep it up!
Hi Jake,
We are a class of 10-11 year olds in Colorado. We really enjoyed writing. The adjectives really brought us into the story–“it thudded to the ground twitching” gave us a great visual! You had great word choice – “the dragon rose and its fiery breath enveloped me” really gave us the idea of what was happening in your story!!
Right from the title, your entry really grabbed me! You tell a complete, tight story, and stay right on the mark the whole time. The only thing I’d suggest is that you try to fit in why you weren’t burned. Otherwise, fantastic job!
Hi Jake,
This is an incredibal blog I loved your description especially the description of when you stabbed the dragon.
The only bad thing is that you didn’t use the correct prompt.
Raphael.
Wow, I have no words. You used great connectives (flabbergasted). Fantastic ly words and much more. But the only thing you could do a bit more of, is to use more of a range of adverbs and adjectives, insted of using I, It and The. To use other great wow words and you could get a level 5 or 4, by using more brilliant words you could be making your writing better. Any way your writing was just amazing and I want to say that because it’s that good I will try to come back and comment more on your work and your teacher will be really proud of you. Keep it up.
From Annalise (HIGH LAWN 6D)
http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
Hi Jake
What a captivating story, I was holding my breath throughout wanting to know what was going to happen next. You’ve used some powerful vocabulary to describe the dragon. I would encourage you to keep in mind the writing prompt so that you can ensure it’s exactly the same.
Wow your 100 word challenge is great. Remember to use the prompt but it is brilliant. I like your description that you used in your 100 word challenge. Keep it up and I hope you do another 100 wc keep it up and i hope to read it again I thought it was great.Keep up the hard work Jake
I will try and find your name next week. Keep it up!
Hi Jake,
We are a class of 10-11 year olds in Colorado. We really enjoyed writing. The adjectives really brought us into the story–“it thudded to the ground twitching” gave us a great visual! You had great word choice – “the dragon rose and its fiery breath enveloped me” really gave us the idea of what was happening in your story!!
Ms. DeSelm’s Class
http://kidblog.org/dollyvardenbloggers/
Right from the title, your entry really grabbed me! You tell a complete, tight story, and stay right on the mark the whole time. The only thing I’d suggest is that you try to fit in why you weren’t burned. Otherwise, fantastic job!