Me and lewis have read your 100wc it left us wanting to read more there is good discription eg. darted, internal dakness, uncommon and loads more
from lewis and josh greenfields chestnut 😉
Jake, this is a piece of writing that I will show my class as an extraordinary example of how to write beautiful descriptions and tell a story that gives us an amazing picture of what was happening, and all in 100 words.
Fabulous.
Mr O’Dea
Assumption Catholic Primary School
Mandurah, Western Australia
Scary stuff Jake…! This is a truly gripping story and you’ve used some brilliant description and language like others have mentioned. In the future though, make sure you don’t confuse never and ever…
Hello Jake, you have written a super piece for the 100wc. You used great description and made a good effort to vary your sentence starts. To make your writing even better, try nit to overuse ‘though’. I will look out for your pieces.Well done.
Jake this is a wonderful contribution to the 100WC. You have clearly thought carefully about your use of descriptive language especially as sentence openers. You included a great range of punctuation too. Keep up the good work.
You have used lots of interesting words to describe the situation. I liked the way you told the story and I thought it was quite
scary and very moody. I enjoyed reading it very much.
wow you are amazing at vocabulary I just love it!!!
Hi
Me and lewis have read your 100wc it left us wanting to read more there is good discription eg. darted, internal dakness, uncommon and loads more
from lewis and josh greenfields chestnut 😉
Jake, this is a piece of writing that I will show my class as an extraordinary example of how to write beautiful descriptions and tell a story that gives us an amazing picture of what was happening, and all in 100 words.
Fabulous.
Mr O’Dea
Assumption Catholic Primary School
Mandurah, Western Australia
Scary stuff Jake…! This is a truly gripping story and you’ve used some brilliant description and language like others have mentioned. In the future though, make sure you don’t confuse never and ever…
Hello Jake, you have written a super piece for the 100wc. You used great description and made a good effort to vary your sentence starts. To make your writing even better, try nit to overuse ‘though’. I will look out for your pieces.Well done.
Jake this is a wonderful contribution to the 100WC. You have clearly thought carefully about your use of descriptive language especially as sentence openers. You included a great range of punctuation too. Keep up the good work.
You have used lots of interesting words to describe the situation. I liked the way you told the story and I thought it was quite
scary and very moody. I enjoyed reading it very much.