What a refreshing story, Laila!
I love Moby’s and Tim’s discovery. Well done for the dialogue, which makes the text very lively.
Please look at the following page for the rules about quotation marks: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/quotation.htm
Keep up the great work, Laila!
Kind regards,
Diethild
P.S. What is the difference between “there” and “their”?
Excellent writing Laila, your description paints a very vivid picture for the reader… I want to go and swim in the oasis too! Saying that Moby was “fluttering with excitement” is a great way to illustrate Moby’s mood in very few words. You have also captured the way that Tim talks to Moby very well in your dialogue so well done.
What a refreshing story, Laila!
I love Moby’s and Tim’s discovery. Well done for the dialogue, which makes the text very lively.
Please look at the following page for the rules about quotation marks: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/quotation.htm
Keep up the great work, Laila!
Kind regards,
Diethild
P.S. What is the difference between “there” and “their”?
Their = belonging to them e.g. Their coats had gone missing.
There = over there e.g. The bus was over there.
Excellent writing Laila, your description paints a very vivid picture for the reader… I want to go and swim in the oasis too! Saying that Moby was “fluttering with excitement” is a great way to illustrate Moby’s mood in very few words. You have also captured the way that Tim talks to Moby very well in your dialogue so well done.
An Oasis! I want to go swimming! I liked the way you described the scene. It makes me want to go in it.