I have no improvements for this work, but you can only twitch a few grammarical statements:
1. You could have changed ‘on’ in “sun cap on firmly” to ‘held’, so that you don’t use the same word twice.
2. You could have changed ‘like it’ in “like I’ve never tasted anything like it” to ‘so great’ or an alternative to that.
3. In the last sentence, this does not make sense: “I licked it once then twice something tasted funny but this was no ordinary ice cream it was a spider…” The corrected version would be: “I licked it once, then twice; something tasted funny for this was no ordinary ice cream – it was a spider…”
The rest is completely fine-apart from a small spelling twitch with ‘Infront’ for they are two words. Coolio to you, and I like how you use a starting sentence from when you woke up in the morning. I found it hard to lengthen it to 100 words, or should I say 106 words because of the prompt “this was no ordinary ice cream”. I just realised you found it easy. You certainly put a lot of effort into that! It’s a mystery… who will get showcased ‘this’ week, the last week of the year! (For hundred word challenge terms [and conditions apply])
I have no improvements for this work, but you can only twitch a few grammarical statements:
1. You could have changed ‘on’ in “sun cap on firmly” to ‘held’, so that you don’t use the same word twice.
2. You could have changed ‘like it’ in “like I’ve never tasted anything like it” to ‘so great’ or an alternative to that.
3. In the last sentence, this does not make sense: “I licked it once then twice something tasted funny but this was no ordinary ice cream it was a spider…” The corrected version would be: “I licked it once, then twice; something tasted funny for this was no ordinary ice cream – it was a spider…”
The rest is completely fine-apart from a small spelling twitch with ‘Infront’ for they are two words. Coolio to you, and I like how you use a starting sentence from when you woke up in the morning. I found it hard to lengthen it to 100 words, or should I say 106 words because of the prompt “this was no ordinary ice cream”. I just realised you found it easy. You certainly put a lot of effort into that! It’s a mystery… who will get showcased ‘this’ week, the last week of the year! (For hundred word challenge terms [and conditions apply])