ALIEN part1 100wc

Posted on September 26, 2012 by Deleted User
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7 Responses to ALIEN part1 100wc

  1. Alex B says:
    September 28, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    The descriptions are really good, and the end leaves you curious. I really like this piece of work.

  2. Charlie says:
    October 1, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Hi Ben
    Love story the descriptions are really good but mabye next time add a simile and mabye even a metephor.
    from your pal
    Charlie
    P.S
    Cant wait for part 2!

  3. Thomas says:
    October 1, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Hi Ben,
    Great description but at the end you could write a bit more of it was because it could look like anything.

  4. Louis H says:
    October 1, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Hi Ben,
    It is a great story but I think you could havedescribed what it was at the end

  5. Joe says:
    October 1, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Hi ben
    your story desciption was great especially the part when you wrote “with a mouthful of sharp teeth” i think next time you could write some description about mum.

  6. Theo's Mum says:
    October 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Hi Ben
    Good use of language and no criticism.

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