Hi Ben
Love story the descriptions are really good but mabye next time add a simile and mabye even a metephor.
from your pal
Charlie
P.S
Cant wait for part 2!
Hi ben
your story desciption was great especially the part when you wrote “with a mouthful of sharp teeth” i think next time you could write some description about mum.
The descriptions are really good, and the end leaves you curious. I really like this piece of work.
Hi Ben
Love story the descriptions are really good but mabye next time add a simile and mabye even a metephor.
from your pal
Charlie
P.S
Cant wait for part 2!
Hi Ben,
Great description but at the end you could write a bit more of it was because it could look like anything.
I cant write any more because it is 100wc
Hi Ben,
It is a great story but I think you could havedescribed what it was at the end
Hi ben
your story desciption was great especially the part when you wrote “with a mouthful of sharp teeth” i think next time you could write some description about mum.
Hi Ben
Good use of language and no criticism.