Hi Josh,
In your piece I had a really strong picture of the place in my mind. I wanted to smell and taste the sweets. I love the alliteration of ‘growing green grass’. Springy is a perfect description for candyfloss. I want to know what happens next! Home team Mum.
Hello Joshua I liked your writing ,the description and including the simile. However you didn’t do to much about the city.
Magical similies
Creative adjectives
Great personification
Superb, imaginitive work!!!
When you used the adjectives for the sweets it was like torture because the were so nicely describe I could just taste them
Great description Josh and nice metaphors.
Hi Josh,
I really liked it when you said ‘chewy sticky sweets and springy candyfloss’ and your personification is fantastic. Keep up the good work!
Hi Josh,
In your piece I had a really strong picture of the place in my mind. I wanted to smell and taste the sweets. I love the alliteration of ‘growing green grass’. Springy is a perfect description for candyfloss. I want to know what happens next! Home team Mum.
Hi Josh, very good description and good use of comas and full stops, longer!