Hi Julius, well done for completing the 100 word challenge. You have used appropriate punctuation and written a great story. Make sure you check your sentences, as one of them doesn’t quite make sense, I’m sure you can spot it. Maybe next time have a go at using a variety of sentence openers, such as:
Thankfully, once I had the glasses on the world returned to normal.
Nervously, I shouted for my mum.
Finally arriving at the hospital, I was rushed to the doctors.
Keep up the great writing, I look forward to reading more.
Hi Julius, well done for completing the 100 word challenge. You have used appropriate punctuation and written a great story. Make sure you check your sentences, as one of them doesn’t quite make sense, I’m sure you can spot it. Maybe next time have a go at using a variety of sentence openers, such as:
Thankfully, once I had the glasses on the world returned to normal.
Nervously, I shouted for my mum.
Finally arriving at the hospital, I was rushed to the doctors.
Keep up the great writing, I look forward to reading more.
it is realy good and it is craetive and i like the part how the kide yeld at his mum