Hello!
I liked your story. The only thing that I discovered is that you are not capitalizing things that need to be capitalized. Also, you need to put in punctuation and things like that. If you do all of those things, your story will be in tip top shape!
Hello Zoe
I really enjoyed reading your 100WC I liked it how you made it near the end how you said, what shall I do I thought as the foot steps got nearer. I liked it because you didn’t just say the foot steps came closer I startrd to think you mixed it together well done. http://www.6D.HighLawnprimary.net
Hi Zoe! Well done on your 100wc entry this week – I really enjoyed reading it and liked the way you used the prompt – poor Daizy, all that work and she got the wrong day 🙁
Make sure you really concentrate on your punctuation – remember to use an apostrophe when someone owns something (eg, dad’s birthday).
This is very well written i like when you put as his footsteps got nearer.
Poor rex but i love the adverbs you used like tripped and grabbed.
You could work on using diffrent adverbs to make it more intersting.
Hello!
I liked your story. The only thing that I discovered is that you are not capitalizing things that need to be capitalized. Also, you need to put in punctuation and things like that. If you do all of those things, your story will be in tip top shape!
Hello Zoe
I really enjoyed reading your 100WC I liked it how you made it near the end how you said, what shall I do I thought as the foot steps got nearer. I liked it because you didn’t just say the foot steps came closer I startrd to think you mixed it together well done. http://www.6D.HighLawnprimary.net
Hi Zoe! Well done on your 100wc entry this week – I really enjoyed reading it and liked the way you used the prompt – poor Daizy, all that work and she got the wrong day 🙁
Make sure you really concentrate on your punctuation – remember to use an apostrophe when someone owns something (eg, dad’s birthday).
Keep up the great work!
Mr K
http://www.ashclassgreenfields.blogspot.com
This is very well written i like when you put as his footsteps got nearer.
Poor rex but i love the adverbs you used like tripped and grabbed.
You could work on using diffrent adverbs to make it more intersting.
We would be very greatfull if you would vist our school website bellow.
http://classes.st-peters-school.org.uk/year6—100-word-challenge.html