Hi Grace. I enjoyed this story. I felt really sorry for Helen having to spend time with Aunt Flora! I loved the phrase “all hell was breaking loose” and I think you chose some great words such as ‘detested’ and ‘unbearable’ to show how much she disliked these visits. Next time you could make it even better by using the connective ‘because’ to give a reason why she was so unbearable.
Ithink your work is good but you did not explane the bit whene you said.. So they arrived at the children’s Odeon where the unbearable woman was standing.
“Helen my only 6 year old niece, come and give me a kiss, I’m 11 … I did not under stand that part but i think it is ok but please next time try to explane your work moor.
Wow that was really good, but I don’t get the last bit is “I’m 11″a different speech?
Well done I liked your little story.
Hi Grace. I enjoyed this story. I felt really sorry for Helen having to spend time with Aunt Flora! I loved the phrase “all hell was breaking loose” and I think you chose some great words such as ‘detested’ and ‘unbearable’ to show how much she disliked these visits. Next time you could make it even better by using the connective ‘because’ to give a reason why she was so unbearable.
Ithink your work is good but you did not explane the bit whene you said.. So they arrived at the children’s Odeon where the unbearable woman was standing.
“Helen my only 6 year old niece, come and give me a kiss, I’m 11 … I did not under stand that part but i think it is ok but please next time try to explane your work moor.